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in the U.S. need advice (:

who's talking here?

heather 2
Balls To The Wall 4
Nicole 7
Oki Insanity 4
ChiTownGrl 5
Casey 4
The Dramallama 4
All Abouts 2
wowzers 15
yourmomdotcom 15
sToO 1
afriendindeed 1
Blue fuzzy creature 1
nobiancody 1
Jaclyn 1
monkeyshine89 1
a5733225uu 1

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wowzers --- 9 years ago -

jaclyn

Where in SC are you?

Orangeburg, its about a 2 hour drive but im willing to comute if the lawyer is worth it. PM me (: 

wowzers --- 9 years ago -

The Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief act will in all likelihood prevent a civil case (such as divorce) from being brought against him without his consent

Possibly, about him not signing the divorce papers BUT I know they can serve him with seperation papers/child support papers while being overseas. He was served once before when I left him, but I went back before the court hearing so everything was dropped. 

wowzers --- 9 years ago -

Definitely not ideal. This is why I ALWAYS tell my troops to first try to work things out. If that doesn't work to see if they can keep things civil until they return

We PCS in July of 2013 there was NO way I was living for that long with him enduring his physical and emotional abuse, a long with a command who only had HIS interest in mind. When he hit me I WAS SENT OUT OF THE HOUSE INTO A HOTEL WITH MY 1 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AT THE TIME. What was his punishment? 1 week of anger management that didnt work. They encouraged me to try it again...It happened again I was going to ERD but was getting the run around so I left him and we both agreed it was right that was Jan 2010.

I went back July 2010 because he had "changed" and "gotten help" it was great for what .. a month? then things went down from there, I tried one on one counselling, marriage counselling anger management anything you can think of..it still happened again. 

wowzers --- 9 years ago -

If that should fail too I tell them to see if they can work out an agreement between the 2 of them that they BOTH can live with[

He "says" he has started ERD paperwork (obviously thats a lie b/c im GONE) and that once the papers go through he is coming up with a seperation agreement but that could take 2 to 4 months...No thanks. I want this a-hole out of my life and taking care of HIS daughter. Hes out there living off base getting money for dependents that are NOT even there!!! While I get NOTHING while I know NOTHING, then I get the run around, this highly seems unfair.

The military command was trying to "cover" it up IMO. This man gave me 2 black eyes and his punishment was 1 week anger management while I had to find myself and our child somewhere to live because "its a hassle for him to find someone to live with" and its NOT for me?!

Really..

I hate the military at this point in my life, so yes, I got myself a lawyer not to "ruin" his career but to be RID OF HIM. 

wowzers --- 9 years ago -

I realize my comments were back to back only b/c of the huge time difference and im just getting to sit down to my computer.

Thanks for the info though, I really appreciate it. 

heather --- 9 years ago -

He KNEW we were leaving.

Unless you have written proof (email, text, letter) that he did know, he can always say he didn't. I'm glad you got a lawyer. 

yourmomdotcom --- 9 years ago -

Possibly, about him not signing the divorce papers BUT I know they can serve him with seperation papers/child support papers while being overseas. He was served once before when I left him, but I went back before the court hearing so everything was dropped. 

If you are in a state that will allow papers to be filed without a hearing requiring you BOTH to physically be there then you are fine. But if SC requires him to be present and he's not willing to just sign the papers and move on then you have a problem. The court will have to agree to allow the proceeding to move forward without him being present. That will require a written agreement from him indicating that as well as a signed separation agreement. Not sure why it would take so long to do up a separation agreement. I did my own and filed it myself and it cost less than $50 and took maybe half a day to do.

When he hit me I WAS SENT OUT OF THE HOUSE INTO A HOTEL WITH MY 1 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AT THE TIME.

I can't speak to how other services do things. But if this was the Marine Corps, the MARINE would be moved into the BOQ/BEQ and the dependents would be allowed to stay in qtrs. There would also be an MPO immediately put in place. The case by MCO would be sent to the Family Service Center for review. Unless there were significant mitigating circumstances ie- severe mental illness or PTSD or something like that his career would be over. I've seen it happen (I happen to be a Victim Advocate.) What I would suggest would be to make a call to the IG over your husbands unit and turn the case over to them. IF you have the supporting documentation ie- pics, reports, emails, statements from him and his command. I suspect the IG would frown upon how this case was handled. It may not help you directly but it will force his command to rethink how they deal with abusers and their vics.

I hate the military at this point in my life, so yes, I got myself a lawyer not to "ruin" his career but to be RID OF HIM. 

I never thought otherwise. And I was not and am not saying you are not deserving of respect or anything else. Clearly based on what you've said your spouse is a class 'A' Jerk. No one deserves to go through what you did and he and his unit should be ashamed of themselves. I sincerely hope everything works out for you and your child. And I am certain your husband will get what's coming to him... that kind of karma doesn't lie dormant for long. When he goes down it will be hard. Just be glad you will be well away from him when it happens. Good Luck.... don't think you'll need it though. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. If you were in Jacksonville NC I know a Tigress of a divorce lawyer that makes attorneys for the other side quake in their loafers. She costs about 6 grand but her record is impeccable. 

wowzers --- 9 years ago -

KeepingItReal

Can I PM you and ask you some more questions? 

a5733225uu --- 4 years ago -

This comment has been flagged as spam 

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