While on the subject..give us the best you got..Anything funny or embarrassing that you have done while drunk? I have to think of mine, but let's get the ball rolling on yours;) 

I'm usually funniest when I'm too drunk to remember. 

I'm usually funniest when I'm too drunk to remember. Ditto. Although one morning my roommate and I woke up with those foam microphone covers all over our house. Like dozens of them. Never did figure out where they came from. 

I talk to myself sometimes when I "break the seal" so to speak. I will talk myself through the process as well.. "gotta pull down the pants" "oh look! time to use the toilet paper" "Caity, remember to wash your hands" ..and the list goes on 

Although one morning my roommate and I woke up with those foam microphone covers all over our house. Like dozens of them. Never did figure out where they came from. It's funnier when you don't remember. 

I got an awesome flask for my birthday so maybe I'll be able to contribute to this thread more soon. 

Figured that I should post this HERE since THIS is the correct thread!! Oh and the first weekend I was here, I walked into our sliding glass door while trying to let the dog out. I spilled my wine:( Husband laughed at me..I was more pissed about the wasted wine!!!! 

I've got a few, but for fear of winning the award for "Best lush" i'll stick to other peoples stories. So I was working as a bartender back home and it was karaoke night. This young guy got up there and requested some love song. I think it was Barry White or some sh*t. So anyways he "dedicated" it to "the blond with big knockers sittin' at that there bar". So the dude gets done singing and invites the "chick" up there to sing with him. He grabbed her as* and asked her what she'd like to sing and no joke she opens her mouth and this deep deep baritone voice says "Baby, I'd like to sing 'Lola'." I've never seen somebodies jaw drop that fast before. We all cheered him on but the poor guy was so embarrassed he just paid his tab and left. 

I was drunk and texting while driving. I ran over a small dog and hit an ole' lady on the side of the street. It was hilarious. 

HAHA HAHA HAHA LOOK PUKING ALL OVER MY FRIEND AND SH!TTING MYSELF IS HILARIOUS. FVCKING SOME GUY I DON'T KNOW AND GETTING AIDS AND RUINING MY LIFE IS AWESOME. RUINING MY LIVER AT AGE 30 AND DYING BEFORE MY KID GRADUATES HIGH SCHOOL IS AMAZING. HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA YAY ALCOHOL FUN POISON IS GREAT  I wish you would drink more. 

HAHA HAHA HAHA LOOK PUKING ALL OVER MY FRIEND AND SH!TTING MYSELF IS HILARIOUS. FVCKING SOME GUY I DON'T KNOW AND GETTING AIDS AND RUINING MY LIFE IS AWESOME. RUINING MY LIVER AT AGE 30 AND DYING BEFORE MY KID GRADUATES HIGH SCHOOL IS AMAZING. HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA YAY ALCOHOL FUN POISON IS GREAT All of that happens to every single person that drinks. Everytime. 

YOUR KIDS WERE IN THE BACK TOO, RIGHT? ALL 30 OF THEM? Yea, I aint had no A/C in my station wagon at that time..so all the winders were rolled down, about half of them there kids were throwed out the winders. 

winders :) 

SH!TTING MYSELF IS HILARIOUS. FVCKING SOME GUY I DON'T KNOW AND GETTING AIDS AND RUINING MY LIFE IS AWESOME. RUINING MY LIVER AT AGE 30 AND DYING BEFORE MY KID GRADUATES HIGH SCHOOL IS AMAZING. I haven't done any of these. 

I haven't done any of these.  ....that you remember? 

....that you remember? No, definitely have not. Notice I left off the first one? 

And the other half laughed and chugged their beers, right?  No, they were screaming because they spilled their beers. That car never smelled the same again. 

Shut up you're too old to be alive I'm old but not quite that old. 

When I drink tequila I'm a real b*tch, The first time I went out in oki we went to a club and there was a guy there who was a acquaintance of my husband's friend. He was talking about his wife and their unborn kid and such, Well later on I see him with this local girl on his lap making out and as he walked by later that night I cussed him out and threatened to kick his a$s! LOL! My husband's friend likes to remind me about that every now and then. 

oooooo tequila...How i hate you! Let me count the ways... 1. BARF! 2. STRIPPING! 3. CUSSING! 4. BARF! 5. BARF! 6. PASS OUT... 

I would never waste a drop of tequila by barfing it out. 

while attending K-State i stole a car and drove it back to my dorm room and parked in the handicap parking spot.. lol ... i don't remember.. but i was told 

The last time I was drunk was at my co-workers bridal shower. I don't remember how I got home, how I ripped my pants, I really don't remember falling out of my tahoe, and I don't remember falling down the stairs. I do remember hitting on the "naughty lady" hostess. I guess I also tryed to suduce(sp??) my husband on the ride home and when we crawled into bed. My husband and everyone I worked with at the time still pick on me about that night. Thankfully, no hangover at all the next morning. Especially after all the tequila I drank. 

Ah tequila.. I can't even stand the smell of it anymore. That and Southern Comfort. My friends and I were at October Fest and I put down wayy too much Tequila. When they were ready to head back to camp I stood up from the picnic table and rolled down this giant hill. It was covered in rocks. Once I got to the bottom my friends each put one of my arms around their shoulders. Then they told me they were going to pee in the bushes and I was under no circumstances to sit down. As soon as they were out of sight I layed on the path. They got back and couldn't get me back up, so they rolled me onto a tarp and dragged me to the tent, where I spent the next 4 1/2 hours spilling my entire life story to some guy I barely knew. To this day it is still awkward seeing him because he refused to tell me what I had said. 

I drank half a gallon (kid you not) of captain morgan one night. Was wearing high heels. Neighbors dog was tied to one of the pillars on my porch. I went up the steps as the dog went across the porch to try and sit down in a chair and the dog decided to go in the opposite direction before I sat down. Needless to say the dogs rope caught the heel of my shoe and I and the chair fell off the porch and landed on my backside in my flowerbed that I had been harping at people all night not to step on and ruin....LOL. What a night that was :-D 

To many to tell. When I was back in high school (ages ago) me and buddy were heading home after a night of rabble-rousing. We hit a possum on the way home. didnt kill it, right away anyhow. I noticed we were right in front of his ex-gf's house. She was a real bytch. So i suggested we mail her a possum. I know its not as funny as some of these stories on here, but in country terms it ranks right up there with cow tipping. 

FebruRY 27TH, 2010. I just got home from drinking around 5:10am. A few minutes later I was like OMFG IM GONNA DIE, HOW DRUNK AM I WAHHHHHHHHHHHH" Earthquake. Apparently God wanted me to have "Shaken Adult Syndrome" 

Drunk cowtipping FTW!!!! Bryn, you were drunk last night when it happened! Wow that's a buzzkill!! 

Bryn, you were drunk last night when it happened! Wow that's a buzzkill!! I sobered up..instantly. 

Yeah I can imagine!