I found out this morning that my little 16 year old sister is pregnant. It blew my mind. My mom is terrified. She is a single mom herself now; my dad died last year of a heart attack. She has MS. So far she has done great with it, but stress can kill her. So here is my question: Do I try to talk to my sister about adoption? Or let her make her own decisions? I know that in the end it will be my mom taking the brunt of the parenting responsibilities. I'm just not sure what to say to my sister. Any advice you could offer would be appreciated. Thank you. 

Or let her make her own decisions This. But, if she keeps the baby, it needs to be her responsibility not your mothers. 

My mom was 16 when she had me and she put me up for adoption. I'm all for adoption but its a decision she'll ultimately have to make with or without your help. You could voice your opinion to her but I would drop it after that and just show her support. No matter what age, she will still be attached to the baby and she's the one who has to live with the choice. If she wants to keep it, there are many programs she could go to if you're mom can't help her out. 

But, if she keeps the baby, it needs to be her responsibility not your mothers. I agree. No matter what she does, that baby is her responsibility. You're mom has to enforce that or I'm sure she will take advantage of her. 

You could voice your opinion to her but I would drop it after that and just show her support THIS!!!! Give her advice once, then just be there for her. 

Tell her to call MTV. or is it VH1?? She may can get a spot on 16 and Pregnant. 

Peachyme- how do you feel about being put up for adoption? Emily says she is against adoption because she doesn't want her child thinking she didn't want them. I feel bad for her. 16 is just so young to have to deal with things like this. I want to thank you guys for your advice, I think you are right. 

Abortion. Suggest she look into it. 16 can hurt your body long term at having a kid. You aren't fully developed. I was thinking the same thing. She has been very sick lately. She's been going to the doctor's for tests, but now that she's pregnant they can't do anything for her. They said she might've been throwing up from morning sickness but she has had very bad stomache pain for a few months now. I'm worried that since she hasn't been eating well that could cause problems with the baby. 

Thanks M. I'm just not sure how to approach the conversation. I don't want her to feel like I'm being pushy. 

She won't have the adoption guilt, and it won't f*ck her up later on in life. If she has any kind of heart she will have regrets for a long, long time on making this descision also. But 16 is very young to be pregnant. She did the crime now she needs to do the time. I think she needs to have the baby and raise it, not your mother. Your mother needs to be very strict about her taking care of her own child. Pretty much there goes her freedom. You go to school, you come home and raise your kid. I was pregnant at 19 and never once put the burdon on my parents. I was the one who f*cked up and decided to have unprotected sex ...not them. They raised thier kids, they didn't need to raise my mine. Of course that is only My opinion. I think she needs to keep it and learn a lesson or two about responsiblility. 

Abortion FTW! 

Your mother needs to be very strict about her taking care of her own child. My mom is just the sweetest woman I know. I feel like Emily might take advantage of that. She might not though. I would hope not. I feel like at 16 she might not completely understand the responsibilities of parenthood. 

How does the baby's dad feel about all of this? 

Well, I was a young Mom too. But I was lucky to have an amazing boyfriend (Now my husband of 12 years) I considered abortion. But decided that it just wasn't something I could allow myself to do. The guilt. It was hard finishing school too. But ultimately it is her choice but I feel that if she would of had someone there in the first place to teach her about sex and pregnancy she wouldn't have gotten into that situation to begin with. I know when I was 16 and found out.... I was shocked. I couldn't believe it. But I didn't have anyone there for me either. 

How does the baby's dad feel about all of this? I'm not sure. He is very young as well. I only met him a few times when we went home on leave but he and my sister have broken up a few times, so I don't think it is a very stable relationship. I haven't talked to my sister yet, I wanted to collect my thoughts before I did. I know this has got to be a rough time for her, and I didn't want to make it any more stressful. 

I'm pro-choice, I just know it's not my choice. 

But ultimately it is her choice but I feel that if she would of had someone there in the first place to teach her about sex and pregnancy she wouldn't have gotten into that situation to begin with. Both my parents talked to her about sex. I have as well. She knew the consequences. 

had someone there in the firt place to teach her about sex and pregnancy she wouldn't have gotten into that situation to begin with At 16 she should already know that sex = pregnancy. No one was there to hold my hand and spoon feed me information and I knew the possible consequences of my actions. I'm not for abortion. Abortion is no easier on a woman's body than completing a pregnancy. If she wants her 'freedom' and doesn't want the responsibility of caring for another person, she should go the adoption route. I've also seen many cases of women becoming pregnant and wanting to abort, regardless of what the father thinks. I've seen fathers who want their baby and would take care of it themselves if she wouldn't, but she aborted anyway. 

Ehh.. this is just my opinion, and only that. You said your mom has MS. That is a very debilitating disease and with the death of your father. Maybe she felt with everything going on, she wasn't getting enough attention. And now she has it. 

I'm not for abortion. Abortion is no easier on a woman's body than completing a pregnancy. If she wants her 'freedom' and doesn't want the responsibility of caring for another person, she should go the adoption route. Bullsh*t 

Thanks M. I'm just not sure how to approach the conversation. I don't want her to feel like I'm being pushy. This is going to come off harsh but you should to tell her she needs to think long and hard about her decision and what is best to do with her situation. Although abortion is not for me in this case I would say it is the best thing. It is not fair for your mother with her health condition to be raising a pregnant teenager. You also need to let your sister know how irresponsible and selfish she is for getting pregnant at her age knowing she has a sick mother at home. In this day and age with all of the sex education they push in schools now days she should have known full well what the consequences of her actions would be. 

If she has any kind of heart she will have regrets for a long, long time on making this descision also. Because you can't possibly have a heart if you have an abortion? No M. I think you misunderstood that. OTR said she won't have any guilt about adoption so instead to have an abortion....kind of made it sound like she wouldn't have any regrets about having an abortion later on in life. that is why i said that. I have had an abortion so I know how it feels. You never stop thinking about what could have been. It's also a decision to think for awhile about before just jumping into it. 

You also need to let your sister know how irresponsible and selfish she is for getting pregnant at her age knowing she has a sick mother at home. Bullsh*t! For all we know she could've been on birth control or guy could've wore a condom she could still get pregnant. 

Well maybe someone should have spoon fed her some birth control. 

Bullsh*t! For all we know she could've been on birth control or guy could've wore a condom she could still get pregnant. Now if she hadn't been having sex in the first place she wouldn't have gotten pregnant now would she? For me if I had a sick mother at home and a father who had recently passed away the last thing I would want is a boyfriend or to be out having sex but that's just me. 

Makes no difference. BC is not 100% effective. 

I think Mrs. Boss said it best. She did the crime, now she does the time. I mean, why not? Let's let a poor, innocent baby pay for his/her mothers short comings. I hear moms who really don't want kids make the best moms. And of course, every pregnant teenage girl will step up to the challenge appropriately, right?? No chance she could possibly screw up the life of her innocent child. Nah. Let's force her raise her kid. Excellent idea! (op- I'm speaking generally, not that your sister would necessarily be like this) 

And until you've been in the Exact situation, you have no idea what you would do I bet statistically, girls with sick mothers and fathers who recently died are probably MORE likely to be out having sex. 

I think Mrs. Boss said it best. She did the crime, now she does the time. I mean, why not? Let's let a poor, innocent baby pay for his/her mothers short comings. I hear moms who really don't want kids make the best moms. And of course, every pregnant teenage girl will step up to the challenge appropriately, right?? No chance she could possibly screw up the life of her innocent child. Nah. Let's force her raise her kid. Excellent idea! (op- I'm speaking generally, not that your sister would necessarily be like this) Our tax dollars at work. Another teen age unplanned pregnancy. Ultimately it will be the tax payers who will have to pay to raise this child untl she finishes school and decides what she wants to do with her life if she decides to keep it.