cry over someone getting married that you dated before you were married? 

Yes, it means you aren't over them. You are probably right but what's done is done and it's been 11 years since we broke up. As far as having an unfulfilled life you hit the nail on the head with that one. Sometimes I think I hate my husband feel stuck because leaving from here is easier said than done. 

My advice to you? Start drinking heavily. 

Start drinking heavily. That's not exactly possible with 3 kids. lol 

This is why you don't have three kids to a person you don't really love while you're lusting over some other person My husband changed in a very bad way after going to Iraq a few times and for the last 7 years life has been hell. I love the person he was but hate what war has turned him into. 

I love the person he was but hate what war has turned him into.  I so giggled.. What did war do to him??? I hate that excuse. My husband never drank before he deployed my husband never cheated never did this that and the other. There is deeper demons, then WAR.. He can also raise his hand to get help if he needs it. He just needs to man up and do it.. That whole BS of I'm so scared to ask for it, thats his problem. My husband and I are the same people we where before deploying.. War doesn't change love or a relationship. Its the people in them that change it.. 

Maybe he is gay and afraid to admit it? 

War doesn't change love or a relationship. Its the people in them that change it.. Well mine came back extremely detached. He can't be around crowd without having a panick attack. 8 years ago our house was filled with laughter and people all of the time. Now nothing. If, he goes somewhere it's by himself. When my husband first came home the first time he would stare in the mirror for hours at a time. He would go off by himself and drink until he passed out daily. Mind you he rarely drank before hand. As far as getting help goes, no one has ever even screened him for PTSD or brought it up until this year. 

Just start leaving loaded guns around the house. He'll know what to do. 

Then your stupid as s should have never married someone in the military When I got married we weren't at war. 9/11 hadn't happened yet. As far as divorce goes that's a whole lot easier said than done. Especially from over here. 

As far as getting help goes, no one has ever even screened him for PTSD or brought it up until this year.  He has to be the one who wants the help.. Thats all i'm saying.. If he doesn't want it then he won't seek it. Then your life will be the way it is.. The person needs to realize hey i have something not right. The military can not kick you out for seeking help. 

The person needs to realize hey i have something not right. I think it's a pride thing with him because he's very secretive with his issues. 

I think it's a pride thing with him because he's very secretive with his issues. Pride or not, he needs to seek help or its gonna ruin everything. Eventually it will catch up to him at work too.. I'm sorry your going through this, it's hard,but if he isn't willing to get help, then there's really nothing you can do other one stick it out or two leave him. Some sit and watch their spouse destroy everything they worked hard for, and others stand up for themselves. 

Some sit and watch their spouse destroy everything they worked hard for, and others stand up for themselves. It's a hard call to make because if I seek help he can get in trouble but if he seeks help then he can't get in trouble. I really need to explore my options. As far as the previous person goes, I think I cryed because that person looks so happy and I'm not and I want to be happy and I'm not. 

I think I cryed because that person looks so happy and I'm not and I want to be happy and I'm not.  You need to get help too.. Depression isn't good for anyone. If both of you guys are both Depressed you both will push each other aside and deal with matters in another way. How will he get into trouble, just tell him you two need to speak to someone about your relationship. Sometimes the Therapist will recognize the issues and address them individually. They can set up one on one time... Just because you see a therapist doesn't mean you need help. It just another person to look into your marriage and offer advice. 

The answer to your question, I facebook stalked my only Ex-Boyfriend from high school. I didn't date much in school. Really see the need to tie myself down.. He was Valedictorian so bright and smart.. Very handsome. So when i saw his photo on Facebook, I busted a gut.. I add his older sister and got the down low on him.He flunked out of College, and is married, has three kids, been to prison twice now for METH. His wife is currently in prison for Meth and Coke, dealing. HIs kids live with his older sister whom is raising them.. I'm like wow this smart smart person some how got lost in life. HE could have had an awesome life yet threw it all away. Sucks to be him, glad I totally got over him.. 

This person is doing great is totally happy now and is doing really well for himself while I'm stuck with Mr. PTSD and I didn't stalk him. I happened upon his picture and the engagement ring he gave me a few days ago when going through old pictures and thought I would look him up to see how his life turned out. He's doing very well for himself now. He's a helicopter pilot and appears to be very happy, has a nice house, custom chopper, horses and a baby on the way and has done everything he said he would do and then some. Oh, and if you're wondering why I kept the ring, it's because he told me to keep just in case I woke up and came to my sences. Boy am I a day late and a dollar short. Guess I should put it in the mail and return it to him now. 

I so giggled.. What did war do to him??? I hate that excuse. My husband never drank before he deployed my husband never cheated never did this that and the other. There is deeper demons, then WAR.. He can also raise his hand to get help if he needs it. He just needs to man up and do it.. That whole BS of I'm so scared to ask for it, thats his problem. My husband and I are the same people we where before deploying.. War doesn't change love or a relationship. Its the people in them that change it.. Exactly...folks need to learn to help themselves...good post. 

This person is doing great is totally happy now and is doing really well for himself while I'm stuck with Mr. PTSD and I didn't stalk him. I happened upon his picture and the engagement ring he gave me a few days ago when going through old pictures and thought I would look him up to see how his life turned out. He's doing very well for himself now. He's a helicopter pilot and appears to be very happy, has a nice house, custom chopper, horses and a baby on the way and has done everything he said he would do and then some. Be thankful for what you do have instead of worrying about what you don't have... 

Be thankful for what you do have instead of worrying about what you don't have... Be thankful for what? A husband who walks all over me and stays gone until 4 a.m. every weekend and gambles away nearly every extra dime we have and is mentally abusive towards my children and I. That's really something to be thankful for. I am thankful for my children and the joy they bring me. 

and gambles away nearly every extra dime we have Is he with Jeannie? 

If you think your husband needs to speak to someone, contact them for him. You are the one that has to live with him and he might not be aware of what he's doing or he might not think there is a problem. Have you tried to talk to him about it? 

If you think your husband needs to speak to someone, contact them for him Better yet, contact his CO. He will be a hit in his shop. 

Better yet, contact his CO. He will be a hit in his shop. That he will be..lol 

Oh, and if you're wondering why I kept the ring, it's because he told me to keep just in case I woke up and came to my sences. Why did you marry your husband? Was it because you became pregnant and wanted to do the right thing? Sometimes doing the right thing isn't always good. If your husband is abusive towards you, and your children then you as in yourself need to stand up and seek the help. I know its easier said then done,but my mom did it. WE lived in Germany no not military. My mom packed us up and left. My dad gave two Sh!ts so yeah. If your husband doesn't care enough not to spend every penny or stay out to the WEE hours then yeah he doesn't care i your there or not. 

it's hard,but if he isn't willing to get help, then there's really nothing you can do other one stick it out or two leave him. I completely agree. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. The only person you can control is you and if you are unhappy, then you are responsible for making the change. 

Oh, and if you're wondering why I kept the ring, it's because he told me to keep just in case I woke up and came to my sences. Boy am I a day late and a dollar short. Guess I should put it in the mail and return it to him now.  I'm sure his fiancee would be thrilled to get that in the mail. 

Be thankful for what? A husband who walks all over me and stays gone until 4 a.m. every weekend and gambles away nearly every extra dime we have and is mentally abusive towards my children and I. That's really something to be thankful for. Then you're a fool for letting it go on and not standing up for yourself and your children. 

Is this MC? Posting under a new name? 

Is this MC? Posting under a new name? You read my mind. I was going to work in a fucher linebacker an hour or so ago.